It may seem counter-intuitive to think about giving thanks when you are going through a divorce. Let’s face it, you are probably going through the worst emotional trauma of your life. If you and your spouse mutually agreed to divorce, remember that, even though it is difficult now, your goal was for greater happiness in the future. You can be thankful that you care enough about yourselves to take the long and difficult road to feeling better. Even if the divorce was not your idea, your marriage could not have been happy if your spouse wasn’t happy. You did all you could to try to keep it together, but it takes two. And now it’s time to begin to take care of you. You can be thankful for this opportunity to do that for a change.
If, as you move through this process, you can remember to do your best to minimize conflict and make sure that all of your interactions with each other, your mediator or your attorneys are meant to help resolve your issues, you can be proud and thankful that you are helping the divorce end sooner, rather than later and in a healthier way.
And if, when discussing how to resolve each issue, you consider and be mindful of the impact on your children they will thank you, when they look back a few or more years from now, for respecting each other and protecting them.
I am thankful for the clients who open their hearts and minds to me and each other. You remind me every day of the wish we all have to be loved, understood and acknowledged. And that gives me great hope for the human spirit and the world.
Teresa Ombres is a graduate of Fordham University and New York Law School and is admitted to the practice of law in the States of New York and New Jersey. She began her career in divorce and family law in 1981 and began mediating in 1996 after trainings in Community Mediation and Divorce Mediation.